25. Highlights from Home - Vegas Vacation!

Maybe a week after I got home, my mom, Kate, Hayley and I jetted off to Vegas. I had been there, once, before, but I wasn't of gambling or drinking age, so, it was an entirely different experience this time around. I will say, though, that I have never forgotten seeing the jousting show at the Excalibur when I was about 10 because you had to eat your whole meal with your hands. It was so satisfying ripping apart a Cornish hen with your hands, like a caveman or something. You can't eat like that often enough. It's fun.

Anyway, here are some pictures, followed by more reflections from the trip.

And... I'm a winner!

At Hakasan

At Hakasan

Overhead Acrobat

I really thought I would win on this machine, given my childhood Grease fanaticism, but, sadly, there was no love from Greased Lightnin'

Now, that's a hot chocolate!

Michael!

The "New York" Skyline

Magical fountains and a real rainbow!

Love the Bellagio flowers.

A New Fall Friend

Flamingos at Flamingo

Hayley's favorite slot machine, Bier Haus, of course.

And the family-favorite slot. It has the best graphics and music and dance moves.

Speaking of Michael Jackson, the whole reason we went on the trip was to see the Cirque du Soleil, One. It was seriously a life-changing event. We were all sobbing, even me, which was very surprising. There were several reasons why I felt so strongly about the show and I'm going to try to convey how emotional it was for me. I loved that they used real Michael Jackson video clips and images and songs. Although my whole family went to see the real deal concert before I was born, I never got to see him perform, so, I really felt the fact that this experience was the closest I would ever get to that.

As I was watching, I felt such an overwhelming sense of unadulterated appreciation and admiration for his talent as a performer. There is one person, above all, that I admire for his contribution to film, but that I also respect and idolize for his more general contributions to the world and the human race. Even that introduction doesn't do him justice, in my eyes. That man, as you may all know, is Charlie Chaplin. So, with that in mind, imagine a very responsive, emotional Taylor sitting in the very front row, already loving this show and just feeling so sorry that this talented person (Michael) is gone, now, never to be seen, again, but all the while feeling so appreciative of his work and talent and so on.

Then, the mood shifts and the music starts to the song, Smile. Michael Jackson did a cover of this song composed by Charlie Chaplin. At this, I got teary, but, then, huge floating projections of Michael dressed as Chaplin appeared onstage, like so:

Now, at the time, this was just too much for me to handle. I was actually holding my mouth with both hands to smother the sobbing, which is very unlike me! I know I must have looked like a crazy person, but what I was thinking was actually very sincere. I was feeling just complete admiration and appreciation, like I said, but when I started thinking about Chaplin and how much I would have loved to just be alive at the same time as someone like that, I just got really emotional. Then, I was thinking about how these two men would maybe love to know that they can still have such an affect on one girl. Maybe that's all anyone can hope for if they're creating something - that their work and even their lives will touch someone, before or after they're gone.

OK, so, after that, I composed myself and was enjoying the show, again, ...until the finale. So, they had this group of dancers doing a little group dance, really happy, really upbeat, and then, out of nowhere, there was this magical swirl of gold glitter dust... and there was Michael - dancing and interacting with them. It was an f-ing hologram! He would dance with them and then do another turn and disappear in to glitter dust, again. In a way, it was so hard to watch because you knew it wasn't real and you just wanted him to stay on stage, performing. And then he would disappear and you'd remember that it was just a hologram and that he wasn't coming back and that he really isn't ever coming back to dance and perform, again. And it was all so tricky, and I was just thinking, against my more logical judgement, "Come back!" and I just sat there wanting more of him and wishing that I was actually seeing the real thing. Finally, he appeared as a little boy with his arms outstretched toward the audience and slowly faded into gold glitter. And isn't that the tragedy that maybe killed him - feeling that people always wanted more of him.

I don't know. It was very emotional, but I really appreciated the experience of that show and I really recommend it.

24. Highlights from Home - Million Second Quiz

Where should I begin? 

Here, I guess. 

Right after I got back to New York, I found out that my sister was going to be on this crazy, new trivia show that had the biggest prize in game show history. The rules of the show were really hard to understand because it was supposed to be a combination of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and Big Brother. One of the things I really respect about Hayley is that her success is so apparent. Long lost acquaintances from high school were even contacting me, just to ask if it was really her they had seen on TV last night.

I didn't feel jealousy, in the least, but I wonder what it would be like to be so explicitly accomplished, even to strangers - and to have fans! I feel like I'm pretty satisfied with the things I've been up to in my life, especially in the last year or so, but I wonder what it would be like for people I went to high school with to be amazed at something I did. I feel like if I do something cool, I might just blog about it or giggle about it when I'm walking down the street and I really treasure that relationship with myself (lame!), but I think that a lot of people wonder what it would be like to have some recognition on TV or in their industry.

Jessica and I went to the studio to watch Hayley and then had a drink, together, after the show.

After the show, all of the contestants came to Taproom. It was so weird to see them all off TV.

23. Family History?

It took me a couple months to get over the homecoming funk. I didn't want to write a downer of a post, so I waited to report my whereabouts. A lot of big decisions have been made and, since my brain isn't bogged down and preoccupied with school work, I've had the opportunity to wrap my head around some new ideas. - First thing's first!

I got off the plane in New York and took a cab all the way through the city the night I returned home. When I was younger, like 10 years ago, my family would vacation to New York City. When we were on the way to the airport to go back to Indianapolis, I would get all quietly sad because I felt like I was leaving my home - where I was meant to be. I found a journal of mine a couple years ago from when I was 16 or 17 and the whole thing was filled with my countdown to the big move to New York and how great it would be to get out of Indiana and high school and so on. When I read that, I felt like my little teenage self would be proud of the six years I spent in New York.

That said, after I came home from Dublin, I didn't have the "at-home," belonging feeling I had enjoyed for so many years. I thought it was because I just didn't have anything going for me yet, like a job and apartment. Instead, after a a few months at home, I felt like it was time to move on. You won't believe it, but I moved back to Dublin! December 30th marked my exit, just in time to start a fresh new year in Dublin.

You may be wondering about the title of this post, but it all connects, I promise. So, here's what I was thinking. I was thinking a lot about my lack of identity when it comes to my ancestors and some sort of "homeland." Obviously, I know I'm American, but a lot of people ask, where your family is originally "from." I realized after living in Europe, that non-Americans might find this annoying, like, you're not really Irish or Italian or whatever. You're just American. I think people from the U.S. like to identify themselves and their families with some kind of ancestral homeland to feel more connected and to have a stronger sense of themselves. That might be obvious, but anyway! Over the last year, I've observed a lot of proud Irishmen and Irishwomen in their native habitat and I had some envious feelings about claiming some kind of geographic location as my home and my "people!" and all. I think I wrote about these feelings in the 50/50 post.

Then, I had a revelation! From what I know about my family history, which is not very much because there isn't one big major nationality, but a little of this a little of that going on on both sides, they were all city-dwellers. For the first time, I found a reason to identify with my ancestors! After visiting so many large, cool cities in Europe, and making the decision to relocate, I feel like I actually have something in common with my blood line, maybe even more so than sticking to one place and getting coupled off with someone from that same place. What I mean is, I found that I could identify with the lack of a geographic "homeland." It was all mixed up. I couldn't believe I had never thought of it like that before. I picture my ancestors as fearless adventurers, ready to pick up and meet new people and explore and try something new.  This description might be a bit of a stretch, but, in a way, my mysterious and transient family history became a comforting and relatable explanation of my curiosity and, struggle is too strong a word, but something like that, with finding, feeling, and identifying my home.

I don't have a lot of old family pictures, but here's one of my mom's dad that I think is pretty cool. His hair looks like a rockabilly pompadour, but this picture is actually way before the 1950's. Just check out the button boots. I wish I had one of my dad's mom on my computer. She was quite the stylish lady - a role model of mine for sure. Anyway, I think this picture was taken some time between 1915 and 1920, but I'll have to double check.

22. Balcony Living

Six days of Italian day dreams come true! My friend, Annie, and I took a last minute trip to Milan, Venice, and Rome a couple weeks ago. It was a tourist marathon - 3 cities in 6 days was so much fun, but a ton of work. I loved every minute, except the hungover transportation bits, but even those were well worth the self-inflicted struggle.

But first! A short vocabulary lesson:
Balcony Living - a sophisticated lifestyle where every place you lay your head has an attached balcony with a fabulous view
Lobstitute - an escort who enjoys dinner dates, nothing more, nothing less

It is also important to note that all of my recent vacations are preceded by the jokingly serious verbal agreement, "No judgement." No judgement about anything by anyone present. That's the way to travel. No stress, no judgement - do whatever you want.
 

Having a pre-flight beer.

So, here are the highlights. We landed in Milan and did a belly-flop into our cute little hotel beds. The next day, we got up bright and early and hit the streets. Milan isn't my favorite in Italy because it's so super modern. The charm is a bit lacking in some places, but we only spent one day sight-seeing and then had the best night being wined and dined!

Rewind a couple months to Prague: I met a couple guys in a rock bar. One was annoying (sorry... kind of), but I really got to talking to the other one. We started really blabbing it up about music and life and travel and on and on. He was Italian and I told him I'd be in touch if my little Italian extravaganza actually fell in to place for suggestions. Anyway, he met us in Milan, took us to a wine store/bar/restaurant overlooking the Duomo, taught us about wine, then, to a lovely restaurant and to all the bars we wanted! It was fantastic! Such hospitality. The three of us had such great conversation and tore up the town! He and I are now BFF's. Thanks, Alvi!

 

Going out for dinner and my first wine lesson. The only thing I hate about traveling is that you can't bring your hair tools because they're all different plugs and watts and all. So, then, you're stuck with whatever your air-dried hair wants to do. I realize that it's not a very valid complaint, but still...

They raised the curtain as the sun went down and that was the view. This was definitely a moment when I couldn't believe my lucky life.

Deciding it was a good idea to do a Fernet Branca and Branca Menta taste test.

Our first and only throw down - and it was staged.

We paid for the drinking the following morning when we made our train to Venice, hungover, with 3 minutes to spare. We were cutting it close, so we got on the train, awkwardly dragging suitcases and handfuls of regrettable breakfast items, before looking at our assigned seat numbers. It was like a movie joke or something. We pushed through the whole length of the train, it just kept going and going, before we came to our seats... in which, other people were seated. We both did the obligatory, appropriate amount of fake confusion and fumbling through our tickets to make everyone involved feel polite. They moved and I put my forehead directly against the window (mouth open, of course) and we were on our way!

Venice looks like a fairy tale (duh). It really looks like all the buildings are just made of plaster or something for a movie, like you could just push one down or something. Most other places I've visited have some "old town" area where you go to see all the beautifully decaying buildings and all, but it was like that on every street.

Ok, a very useful piece of advice for a Venice dinner!: Go to the little delis and grocery stores and get yourself a bed-picnic. Stock up on some meat, cheese, olives, bread or crackers, tomatoes and you're in business! There is absolutely no night life in Venice, so, do a Youtube movie night and binge. It was so good.

I'm telling you - we learned our lesson the hard way about the crap restaurants. We were so tired and hungry and just thought, "Ok, we'll split a cheese plate and a vegetable plate and just pay the €10 each and €4 for water and €3 for a napkin. Whatever." (The last one was a joke.) Anyway, the food came out and it was so stupid. The cheese plate had 6 thin slices of 3 different kinds of cheese on a huge plate with a tiny pile of shredded carrots in the middle and no bread. It looked so funny and sad.

We were both very pleased with our purchases.

Cute little gelato-pops!

Rialto Bridge

St. Mark's Clock Tower

Enjoy a little music from St. Mark's Square:

Our view. One of the two nights we were there, there was a thunderstorm with tons of lightening! We watched from the balcony.

Then we caught our flight and jetted off to Roma! At this point, we couldn't believe how smoothly everything had worked out. I was sure that I had made some mistake when planning all the planes, trains, shuttles, cabs, hotel check-ins and check-outs and on and on that had to be perfectly coordinated. I kept thinking someone was going to come knock on our door and tell us we were due to check out 3 hours ago or something.

As you may know, one of my absolute favorites.. and it must be true that you'll return to Rome if you make a wish in the fountain! I had no plan to return only and exactly 2 years later.

Here's a story! See the pizza, above? We were walking and walking in circles around Trastevere for about an hour. We were in completely the wrong area and I didn't recognize anything. We were both starving, but I really wanted to find some pizza LIKE the place I had eaten it from years earlier. I was in no way trying to find the same place, just something like that - I was actually completely lost and dragging poor Annie along on my pizza quest. I gave up and we both agreed we'd go to the next place we found. Just then, we turned a corner and there it was - the EXACT SAME pizza place! It's the best pizza in the world. I still don't know where it is and I forget what it's called, but I know I'll find it again someday if I'm in the area. It's fate. - The pizza from that place is my soul mate.

Seriously, who is going to get stuck in the subway door as extremely as these guys? That's a bad day.

Another night out in Campo de Fiori.

The Colosseum is right in your face when you get off the subway.

The joke in Rome was that I was the tour guide because I had been there once before. We had one day to cram all of the sights in and still have fun. I would get us to the place, saying get ready, we're coming up to it, you're gonna love it, there it is... and then we would just speed walk past. I had already done it all, inside and out, and Annie didn't want to stand in line and pay the money and all, so it worked for us. I was going to call my tour EXTREME ROME. The tour would start and the guide would say something like, we're going to see how far you can walk today. You see everything in one day and, by the end, you're completely delirious and sun burned and literally can't walk anymore - just like we did. It's not for everyone...

And that was Italy. Now, to end with the dreaded reality check: I move home in less than 2 weeks.

21. I'm in Control! ...in Prague

I took a girly getaway to Prague with my friend, Shannon. It was wonderful because it was this no-stress trip where we had these really deep conversations about what we want to do with our lives and careers, where we want to live, the importance of travel and living! It was pretty intense. From all of this talking, I have come to several life-altering conclusions! They will be reported after the following pictures, just to keep you on the edge of your mouse!

It's always good to find out what's at the bottom of a staircase like this.

First, she rolls out the dough and then puts it on to those spinning wheels to make a yummy, cylindrical pastry treat!

Terrifying statues - check out that hand reaching out on the guy on the right. Yipe!

A little market

Charles Bridge

View from the bridge

All are gingerbread hearts at the Gingerbread Museum!

I just really liked the colors and patterns of these two buildings, together.

My adopted son and new best friend. At dinner, I said, "I want to find a marionette. It's an investment for my life." Shannon had to stop and call attention to that bizarre sentence.

Getting ready to be packed

Yes, that's a huge marionette next to me.

I spy original, Czech Charlie Chaplin advertisements.

Ready for Prague nightlife!

After the trip, I have never felt so motivated! It seems like everything is coming together and my career aspirations are more clear and on track. Here is what I realized:

1. What I love about librarianship is not the technical aspects of cataloging and metadata, but, rather, the promotion of the library. This makes so much sense to me because, although it seemed like such a drastic career shift from music management to library and information studies, it's really just about promoting something I love (music to books).

2. I went home to NYC for a quick, last-minute trip (more on this, later) and was able to squeeze in visits with almost all of my friends. It was so nice to see all of the Mean Girls! They are so inspiring. Most are in creative industries and talked about all of the progress they're making and all of the exciting events they have been to and the new developments they have coming up. It made me consider my own career path and what I could do to steer it in a direction that would be creatively fulfilling.

3. I think there is a not-so-obvious connection between punk rock ideals and libraries and librarians. The library promotes this concept of accessibility and free information for all! See what I mean?

4. I have never regretted not finishing film school, but I have wondered what movies I could make.
 I was, recently, at an event for library professionals. There is this recurring story of a librarian of some form or another being at a party and someone says, "What do you do for a living?" and then, all of the librarians in the room sigh and roll their eyes because if you say, "I'm a librarian," then, people think you just sit around reading and stacking books. My attitude toward this is, why should anyone be obligated to know what exactly you do at your job if you don't tell them? If someone told me they were a scientist or a doctor or something, I might picture the wrong thing if that's all they said. Either tell someone what you do or leave it at that and get over it. I'm tired of librarians who complain about stereotypes, but don't do anything about it. So, here's what I plan to do about it:

5. I want to make a documentary about what it means to be a librarian, now, and innovative librarians, starting cool, new projects and companies in NYC and Brooklyn. There are so many exciting changes in this field and I think people should know about it. I want it to be relevant to info professionals, but, also and especially, people in their 20's and 30's, who may not be as interested in libraries and their services. It will look like a music documentary or punk rock movie because I like that all-over-the-place style  and those are the ones that inspire me.

6. There will be a photo book to go along with the movie, to be released at the same time. It will be like a coffee table book with pictures of all the people in the documentary, with interviews and quotes from them. I also want to add a bunch of stuff I've learned and advice I've gotten from talking to library directors on my European travels. I think it will be great. What do you think?

7. In order to do all of this, I need to move back to NYC in August, which is bitter sweet, but I can't put these ideas on hold any longer than I have to.