4. Going It Alone - Traveling Through Europe

After graduation, I embarked on the stereotypical post-collegiate Euro-trip. I spent a month traveling through London, Paris, Rome, Barcelona, and Dublin. When you get home from a big trip like that, people always ask how it was and it's so hard to answer. All I could say was, "It was great." There's no way to describe the feeling of being alone in a completely new environment. You walk around with no obligation except to fill your days entertaining yourself. It can be lonely and difficult, especially on a tight budget (like I was), but it makes you feel so independent. As cliche as it sounds, I had more faith in myself after I left. I could read a map, I could get myself out of dangerous situations, I could get over my shyness and talk to strangers, and I could embrace being lonely and just think about things.

I highly recommend traveling alone, at least once in your life. Your self-awareness goes through the roof. In my opinion, that is the key to happiness - more on that theory, later. You only have to worry about what you want to do, when you want to do it, and no one else has to know anything you're doing. There is no compromise about sight-seeing, eating, where you sleep, or when to be somewhere. It was great!

The only thing I forgot during my month abroad, was my digital camera. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I bought about 10 or 12 disposables. It was like magic seeing my pictures for the first time when I got home. All of my travels would be better shown through photos (with a few captions).

LONDON

Full English Breakfast

PARIS

Still my favorite city in the world. It does not disappoint any preconceived notions of romance and mystery. The city has it's own personality and it is so beautiful. Side story: The last time I was in Dublin (Dec. 2011), I took a 24-hour trip to Paris. When the airfare is 30euros round trip, who can resist! I got completely over-dressed and took myself out to dinner at a little cafe. Dining alone can be daunting, but, unlike the rude Parisian stereotype, everyone was so nice to me. They asked if I understood the menu and brought another chair for my purse. I ordered the duck and a fancy beer, went back to my hotel room, took a bath and listened to Miles Davis. It was like an F-ing dream! I felt so luxurious and, again, I was alone and I was OK with it. See below for the dress I wore that fine evening...

 

There was an angry mob of tourists trying to get a picture of Mona Lisa in front of the painting.

REAL absinthe - after one glass, it was like being really drunk for 5 minutes

look how small the people are

Paradise

Each lock has a couple's initials. How romantic!

ROME

Side story - There was one time I really felt like I was in real danger, like I would be lucky to get out of this without something really horrible happening. I followed a guide book's advice to check out Pigneto, just outside of Rome. It was pretty early and not getting dark yet, so I thought I could make what looked like a 30-minute walk, have a nice dinner, meet some people, and all of my new friends would tell me how to take the bus home. So, I set out about 6:30PM and when 8:00 comes and goes, I'm still walking.. I have walked off the map, so I only have my written directions to go by, which are really no help at all. I'm walking on the side of a highway outside of Rome. The scariest thought was: No one knows I left the hostel and no one will be there waiting for me if I get to where I'm going. I only had one choice and that was to just GET THERE and ask someone how to get back. There are no other people walking around, they're all driving, and I finally see a restaurant. I go in, get a warning from a local to "really be careful because the sun is going down" and these complicated directions to walk over this overpass-bridge thing and when I finally find that, I almost start to cry. It's starting to get dark, and I can't see clearly, but in the way of getting to the bridge, there's a big pile of trash and what looked like a man in drag (remember, no one else around) sitting on the side of the highway staring at me. Luckily, no eye contact was made, I went around the bridge, finally FINALLY, made it to Pigneto, found a party at a beer bar, met two Romans and a Dubliner who gave me directions home, and took the night bus back. None of them could believe I had walked from Rome. When locals tell you to be careful, it's never a good sign.

Obviously, the best pizza ever

I walked through this place one night and there was a huge brass band playing - so magical!

My favorite sight-seeing destination in Rome

BARCELONA

Other-Worldy

I fully-realized my love of markets in Barcelona. That's how food is supposed to look.

DUBLIN

(my soon-to-be home)

Like a fairy-tale

Had my first real Guinness here - A pub since 1198!

Like I said, the trip was "great"... I knew then that I had to live overseas someday. And that day will be here in 3 weeks...

3. What Happens After the Party

The last straw of my party-time career occurred when the snake of a guy I liked turned out to have a girlfriend... again. I fell for that trick a few times. The tricky part about these 20 to 30-something scenester guys is that the girlfriend is never around! What do these girls think their boyfriends are doing at night? I'm all for independence, but if your boyfriend says he's "promoting" himself or "networking" at parties with a bunch of other deadbeats until 5 or 6AM, just be wary. It's difficult to be the "other" woman when you honestly didn't know about the absentee girlfriend. I am very sorry to a few girls out there...

Finally, you realize that now is the time to move on. People will say they miss you, but they never really knew you in the first place. The lights are on, it's 4:30AM, and you gotta go because you're better than these people that aren't really your friends.

The glamour of nightlife is easy to miss and the feeling of being left out and bored and boring is hard to handle. So, to replace that confidence and razzle-dazzle, I pursued "alternative" modeling as a new hobby. I'll be the first to admit - I have a prejudice against models. I also realize that it's mostly because of my own insecurity. I feel like models are made out to be the ideal. I always over-analyze my weight, even though I have never had a weight problem. The reasonable side of me knows I should be happy with how I look, but I am so hard on myself about my body. My mom has always struggled with her weight and I definitely think that has affected my own body image. I have total sympathy for anyone that has a weight problem. I don't think runway models are making anyone feel better about or even ok with how they look - not that it's their fault, more the whole fashion industry and our culture. I'd much rather look like a Vargas pin up girl than a runway model.

I also don't understand why models are the fit-model for clothing. Clothes can be beautiful works of art that everyone can participate in and I love fashion, but why would clothes be made for people that don't look anything like the majority of people that really buy and wear them. It doesn't make sense to me. All of the models I have met in New York have also been pretty close to the negative stereotype. I'm not a hateful person and I'd love to get to know tons of smart, cool, humble models - if anyone knows any - or maybe you're one, yourself. Let me know... Anyway, I'm off the soapbox and "alternative" modeling is so much fun and here is a sample of my little hobby!

 

OK, so next - I'm gonna tell all about my European travel experiences and tips and a little about getting through school. Yippee! Hooray!

2. A History Lesson in Two Phases

Let's take it from the top! My first few posts are going to be a history lesson, mostly so I can keep everything straight. You have to look back to get where you're going sometimes. I moved to NYC in 2006. I was 17 and attending the School of Visual Arts. I was completely and totally naive and loving every minute of it! I bought a fake ID when they were still being sold in souvenir shops around Times Square. I wore leg warmers and denim skirts to go out. I was a small town girl in the city and didn't know any better. I also couldn't handle my liquor. 

 

I also had a short-lived career as a beauty queen. First runner up ain't too shabby. I'm convinced I was robbed of the title. But I digress..

After a year at SVA, I took time off from school to teach ballroom and Latin dance in Queens at Martinez Dance Studios. After that, I worked the coat check at Cheetah's strip club (while my mom worked in the dressing room in the back doing hair) blah, blah, blah. 

Then, something happened around 2009... I became what I always thought was a "cool" person. I met people who went out every night and didn't have real jobs. They were all in bands, didn't exactly have apartments of their own, and always looked fabulous! So, in my own way, I became part of that crowd. I went through my promiscuous phase (to say the absolute and very least). I showed up to clubs, cut the line with a promoters name, drank bottles for free, and sized everyone and their outfits up with the best of them. It was all very glamorous and very stupid... When hanging out with the self-involved, it's always best to be completely self-aware. You can easily participate, dance, and make "friends," but always be aware that this is not the end result for you. You have places to go and people to meet - in reality. The promoter/ musician/ club scene is not that. A few photos for supporting evidence:

Man, I thought I was too cool for school - but you know what, I also had a great time, so who cares. I snapped out of it within 6 months. Stay tuned to find out what happened next!

1. Pleased to Make Your Acquaintance.

Ok, so here we go... You will be jumping in to my head at a pivotal time in my life. Welcome and let me introduce myself! I'm Taylor. I'm from Indianapolis, I moved to New York a little over 6 years ago, and I'm on the way out. I'm leaving for Dublin Aug. 22nd or should I say 22 August to go to grad school to become some sort of librarian. This is my ongoing story, for the purpose of sorting through my own reminiscences and reflections and for anyone to read. I'm a sucker for nostalgia... I'll also be sharing my travel stories and photos, showcasing pin up fashion from time to time, and suggesting DIY project ideas (whether anyone will actually do them or not). Let's get started, shall we?

I'm completely in denial about the whole move. Living in New York is like being a gang member. It's hard to live here, but after a couple years, it's hard to imagine moving anywhere else - You don't have a car, it's hard to move furniture, you can't save money above your rent to get out, and any other city just doesn't compare. I was 17 when I got to NYC and I'm leaving at 23. It's been a good run.. I danced, dated, drank, worked, laughed, and loved. Oh, and graduated from undergrad somewhere in there. I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else for my "coming of age." It's been a good run... But now it's on to a different scene.

Before I go, I want to take the opportunity to recap my time in New York. It's difficult to decide how much to say and how far to dig into my history, but I'll do my best to entertain myself and, hopefully, anyone reading.