Tuesday, February 19, 2013

17. 50/50

I've been a bit conflicted, lately. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life (aren't we all, blah blah, blah) I realized that my problem is that I find myself being drawn to completely opposite extremes in things. Is it just me or does everyone feel like this?

For example, I want to look like a tough-girl punk...



 ... and a 1950's pin up (who takes pictures of herself with an iPhone, of course):



Sometimes I feel like I want to be covered in tattoos and, then, I think I'll just stop, now.

I don't know what I want to do with my degree - something traditional or not?
 
I think these extreme ideas come up at this age to force yourself to prioritize and find the middle ground between all the things you really want.

...which brings me to my next topic. I really think self-awareness is the key to happiness. Wow, I think in my first post I mentioned that idea and said "more on that later" and here we are: much, much later. Anyway, I think it's only a positive thing to be in tune with your own desires. That word, "desire," makes me think sexual, which is true, as well, but, I'm just talking about what each of us wants, as individuals. Are you hungry, lonely, bored, sad? If you're in touch with what that feels like and why you feel like that and what you, personally, need to do to change it, then, you can make yourself happier. Even if you feel lonely, that's okay because if you're aware of it and you realize it's just an emotion, it's easier to control. People are full of emotions, but they come and go. Not to say, "don't worry, be happy." Being lonely is okay and relevant, too.

That's why I like astrology, psychics, numerology, tarot cards, and, lately, totem and spirit animals - all that mumbo jumbo. People like to talk about themselves, but, a lot of the time, it's enough to just think about yourself. I identify with so much of what is written about Libras - being indecisive, especially, which goes back to the whole extremes thing.

Sun moves into Libra
There sure is a lot of detail in the butt region right?


 From my reading, I think my "spirit animals" are the Raven and the Moose. See, if I were to go in to a long explanation of how and why I identify with those animals, I feel like you would get bored. People usually read their own horoscope, first. Look up your own spirit animal or whatever works for heightening your own self-awareness. It's fun.


 






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